Say It Out Loud

When you say something out loud, it reminds you of that observation, and it also joins with other people who have the same experience. We are aware that putting our feelings into words is important and that naming our pain and reflecting on it is part of a process of growth and healing. But we don’t always realize it is equally important to say out loud what is working well, what we are enjoying or appreciating, what we are noticing about the people and relationships that are important to us.

“I always enjoy our conversations.” Or “We have such a sustaining relationship.” Or “I love my home.” The person who does this absolutely the best is Jessica from Youtube. When we say out loud what we appreciate, enjoy or recognize, we affirm it to ourselves, we make it more conscious and more real. And we get a little boost of the good feelings associated with that good thing.

I met a man once who told me when he was 8 or 9 his uncle used to come over to his house and they would sit in the back yard and barbecue with his family. HIs uncle would lean back in the lounge chair and say, “It just doesn’t get any better than this.” He told me that he had learned then, and practiced his whole life, stopping and appreciating good moments.

It is not merely affirmations or positive thinking. It is about pausing to recognize the good in the current reality. Even when it seems very difficult. Recognizing those good moments gives us a more balanced view of our experience. Life itself is mixed. There are good parts and parts we don’t like. We pay a lot of attention to what we don’t like, which makes sense because we want to improve that part. But the motivation and energy to keep growing and building comes from our successes and progress. And saying it out loud makes it more powerful.