Author Archives: norasblog

About norasblog

I am a psychotherapist with a private practice in downtown Chicago.

Self-Rage is not Remorse

It is extremely difficult to face our own missteps, limitations, and selfishness. That awful feeling of not liking ourselves is incredibly unpleasant. It’s really tempting to make sure we don’t have to feel that way. So it’s nice if we … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

The Feeling Versus the Effect

Sometimes the feeling of the thing does not match the effect of the thing. Some things that are pleasurable have negative effects, short term or long term, and some things that are effortful,  or difficult, have positive effects. Sort of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

The Doing

Aspiration, intention, commitment, determination. These words form a sequence toward doing what we value. An aspiration is an ideal to work toward. I may have an aspiration to be kinder or more organized. It is not something we achieve, but … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Engaging

Like most primates, for human beings our superpower is our capacity to join with others to accomplish tasks, maintain safety, and become our best selves. We do not have wings, or prehensile tails, or claws. We have cooperation. We know … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Behavior and the Meaning

So I’ve been reading in linguistic anthropology. I know. Another rabbit hole of ideas. But here’s the thing. Every interaction with another person contains the behavior, whether it is speech or action, and the meanings that behavior carries. The meanings … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Appreciation or Gratitude

It seems to me that we should stop talking about gratitude and start focusing on appreciation. It is a small shift, but with a real difference. Gratitude is about the feeling in me evoked by something outside of  myself. That … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What are you cultivating in yourself?

What you repeat becomes who you are. You create yourself by your choices. What are you focusing on within your own experience of yourself? What is your relationship like with yourself? How we understand who we are is fundamentally our … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Plain Old Therapy

Jon Allen has written a wonderful book called “Restoring Mentalizing in Attachment Relationships: Treating Trauma with Plain Old Therapy.” I have become enchanted with the idea of “plain old therapy.” Allen writes that in medicine we can have many specialists … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Grandmother mind

One of the aspirations in Buddhist thought is to acquire what is called “grandmother mind.” Grandmother mind is the idea that you love unconditionally, guide and direct without judgment, share your wisdom, and accept all people with an affectionate understanding, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Effort Equals Growth

Carol Dweck is a research psychologist at Stanford who has studied what she calls the growth mindset. Some people think they are naturally good or bad at something, like math, or naturally healthy or naturally talented. And some people think … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment