Author Archives: norasblog

About norasblog

I am a psychotherapist with a private practice in downtown Chicago.

Mentalization

According to Peter Fonagy, “Mentalizing is the process by which we make sense of each other and ourselves, implicitly and explicitly, in terms of subjective states and mental processes. It is a profoundly social construct in the sense that we … Continue reading

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What You Get Is What You See

Sometimes you hear people say “What you see is what you get,” meaning the thing or person is exactly as it appears. Whatever you see is what you will get from that thing or person. But I think it works … Continue reading

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Yes, but I’m not trying to mess up.

You know how you run into some obstacle in getting yourself to do something or in getting yourself to stop doing something and you complain about it to someone and they say something on the order of: “You just have … Continue reading

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The Real Causes of Depression

I am just reading Johann Hari’s wonderful new book, Lost Connections: Uncovering the real causes of depression–and the unexpected solutions. Hari is an investigative journalist, so his work is thoughtful and well researched, but he is a great storyteller and … Continue reading

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The Type of Story We Tell

When faced with puzzling behavior, we often attribute reasons to it–some of them flattering to the person and some of them critical. Research has shown that when we consider the behaviors of people in our group, tribe, or community, we … Continue reading

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I’ll Just and At Least

Okay, so it is the time of year for resolutions. I like the idea of aspirations more than resolutions, though. Aspirations are what we are moving toward. You cannot fail an aspiration, but you can fail a resolution. Anyway, that … Continue reading

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The River that Runs Through It

Depression is a liar. It tells a story with great conviction. The story is this: “This depressed me is the real me. Sometimes I feel temporarily happier, but I know I will just return to this real self. I can … Continue reading

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It’s Ok To Be Where You Are

There need not be tension between acceptance and growth. We can accept who we are, the limits that we have, and the mistakes we have made without worrying that we will become complacent and stop trying to be better. There … Continue reading

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It Doesn’t Matter How Long It Takes

When we are striving for some outcome that we want, sometimes we lose motivation because we think it will take too long. I usually tell people that time will pass anyway so you might as well go after what you … Continue reading

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Emotional Independence

I was listening to an interview with Thupten Jinpa, the translator for the Dalai Lama, on the podcast “On Being,” hosted by Krista Tippet (On Being). Thupten Jinpa was a Tibetan monk in the same order as the Dalai Lama, … Continue reading

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