Dynamic Balance

Given the complexity of life and the many aspects of ourselves that we try to strengthen, it makes sense to think of psychological well-being as a dynamic balance between the different aspects of our own inner experience. “Dynamic”  means that this balance is continually moving and changing. And “different aspects of our inner experience” means we have different parts of ourselves, different strengths and weaknesses, different capacities and potentials. Sometimes it seems as if we ought to be able to get everything right once and for all, and then we can relax and enjoy our lives.

But really, if we step back and think about it, we know that our lives are changing all the time, and of course we need to keep recalibrating internally to maintain a healthy balance. For example, sometimes we find that we are not getting enough time to reflect and plan, and other times we are not getting enough interaction with other people. Our own internal sense of being out of balance prompts us to readjust as our lives change.

We may need to readjust our work-personal life balance, our social-private life balance, or our physical activity-rest and recuperation balance. The important thing is that we can become better at recognizing our inner signals and better at actively choosing the balance that we need at any point. The idea of it is fairly clear; the capacity to do it is a little murkier.

What we are talking about is a meta-skill. It is not learning how to create a certain balance, it is learning how to be a balancer. How to listen to our perceptions and instincts and reflectively design corrections to improve the balance among the aspects of our lives. This is the creative part of building a life. It is unique to each person, both in terms of the appropriate types of balance and in the ways we go about achieving them. And this capacity to be a balancer is something that we practice and get better at as we go along.

About norasblog

I am a psychotherapist with a private practice in downtown Chicago.
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